So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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