How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
...so i touched it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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