Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What drink are we having for lunch?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
