Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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