walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
