just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
