I cockslap morals
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
