Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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