what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
