im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
