so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
