Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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