Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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