when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
