my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
