Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
