paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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