Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
