Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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