idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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