I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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