that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
