I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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