This girl is more easily done than said...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
