the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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