Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
