just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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