Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
