She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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