so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
