i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am one with the molecules
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
