Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
