and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You smell like stripper and shame
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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