just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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