Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
