Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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