I accidentally had phone sex last night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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