i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
