Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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