At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
