Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
