Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
the raccoons are back...
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