PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
