I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
