I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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