You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
