We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
