I puked a lego.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
