Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
