My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
