You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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