I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
