It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
