At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
