I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The power of my boobs compel you
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
