somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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