you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
