Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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