You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
