She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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