It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
