At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
