The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
