wrigley field is MILF paradise
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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