You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
They are going to name an STD after you.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
